I don’t know about you, but for me, being trans has opened my eyes to sexuality.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I have never been somebody that you’d be able to say was as straight as a ruler but that doesn’t mean I’ve always been comfortable with my sexuality (well… perhaps one of those bendy rulers!). In fact, I have found it far easier to come to terms with my gender identity than I ever have who I fancy the pants off!
They were very mixed up over the years. Before transition it was much easier to say I was gay… but then probably straight! My experience of sexuality was that I couldn’t understand who I wanted while the people I fancied had no clue who I really was.
Transition gave me the opportunity to understand my sexuality for what it is. Bi.
It wasn’t that I was finally able to say I can be attracted to both men and women. My transition enabled me to think about who I might fancy completely differently.
A lot of people are genuinely attracted to features that may be found commonly in masculine men etc. and as a result they’re able to say with certainty, ‘I’m gay’ or ‘I’m straight’. They associate particular characteristics with a certain gender identity and expression which means they’re more than comfortable with whom they get the hots for.
For me, I was finally able to realise that I fell for the person… that it wasn’t particular body parts, genitals or attitudes that I found sexy, but different ones and for different reasons. Essentially, what I realised was that a person’s gender wasn’t what attracted me, it was the person.
It’s particularly important today, with it being BI Visibility Day.
When it comes to sexuality it’s perfectly possible to say that Bisexuality is perhaps an incredibly natural form, just because it’s about connecting with another human. I don’t say that I’m bi because I am attracted to men and women, I know I’m bi because I can be attracted to people with masculine and feminine attributes!
The reason Bi visibility Day is so damn important though, is because being Bi is incredibly misunderstood and there are ridiculous misconceptions about it. I am not being greedy… I just have more options because I refuse to rule someone out due to what is or isn’t between their legs. I am not confused about my sexuality… I just know that I can find different people attractive for different reasons. I am not going to be straight or gay in the end… I will always be attracted to people regardless of gender (but since I’m in a relationship I’m currently only into one person).
I’m able to finally understand my sexuality through the eyes of my gender identity. It’s only so annoying now that my sexuality is just as misunderstood as my gender.
People who are Bi are valid. Their identity and their sexuality is valid. They’re not simply being promiscuous or acting out of confusion and it most definitely isn’t a phase. At the minute, people would rather say they’re gay than own the fact that they are Bi but this is because of how much prejudice there is around being Bi and realising that fact truly shines a light on the situation.
It’s Bi Visibility Day! So, if you’re not Bi, by an ally. Because it’s time we got over the stupid ideas and ignorant bigotry we have around gender and sexuality. People are people and people love people. It’s simple, really.